• Tuesday 05/20

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Météo : Nuages | 26°C
Wish : A hug
Mood : In love
Rate my day : 8/10
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Title : Chester - Falling for you
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No introduction... You don't really need to know me but you will through my writings, if I ever intend to keep this diary.

I'm laughing, it's silly and ludicrous, but really? Why the hell I do need an english diary. I already have a french one... And hell no I do not like speaking french.

Anyway, I'm going to speak about these last few weeks...

I'm back with my fiance after a big disappointment on a high expectation.
No, he did not cheated on me, but he deceived my expectations.
This rough time in my life, helped me to discover my weaknesses and mistakes, but I can't truly correct them... I'm in deep love with him and it's like a disease, a deadly one.

So, we spoke and actually it was one of the most magnificent conversation we've ever had.
But it's too late, all the things done over these past years, I can't handle them anymore, it was like a stroke, breaks my heart. They're affecting me unknowingly and he's seeing it in my behavior. I'm so mean, vicious, moody and rancorous.

I don't know how he does it, but he's still here for me. I think it's a way to say : you've been here for me since the beginning and for all this time without giving up on me, this is my way to thank you and to prove you wrong, I can be a man for you...

All I ever wanted to hear.

I don't know what else to say... I feel so bad. It's like waiting for a miracle for a long time and when it happens, you're indifferent because you're tired of waiting, how to fuck four years for nothing... what a waste of time.

But no, I'm going to do my best for a better life ! Hell Yeah !
I've waited so long and I'm not going to miss this opportunity or chance to save our couple. I'll do anything so it can last forever.

They like this entry:
  • MisterLinK
  • Depressive Girl
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Depressive Girl
Depressive Girl :

reading your article I can totally say that I am so related to your case , it feels like the harder you try the worst it gets , sometimes I fear that he's going to give up on us seeing the person that I've turned into and it's rather terrifying ! 

Lalitha :

Don't give up, if you really want it to work, just try your best... That's all I can say.
He've seen the person that I've turned into after all the efforts and pains and now, he's the one trying to make it works....
Sometimes I tell myself : Hate that I've become this person! and that's what giving me the reason to make a change.
Don't give up on him, he won't give up on you... ^^

Depressive Girl
Depressive Girl :

Lalitha Thank you ! and  for sure I am never giving up on him ! hope that every thing will get better for you !

Lalitha :

It's getting better ! Thank you !