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I apologize

I apologize

My dear Diary,

        I miss ya, pooh. What about you ? I want to apologize for the late. You know I'm too busy with all those exams... It must influence my mood, 'cause yesterday I wasn't very kind... I don't really know why, but I think that I turned into a... b****. Yeah, a w****. Why ? I dunno, I told ya. 

        I guess I wanted to play my Lolita with him, and with Moscovitz just around. Well, I saw him a lot, yesterday and Sunday. Moscovitz, I mean. He was sitting near us, in the library. I dunno what I wanted to act like that, I repeat. And I dunno why I was so rude with the majority of people I met. Well, I wasn't rude with them -just in my head. 

        Like with D.D. At lunchtime, we took a table. Then, he saw D.D sitting and eating alone. He told me that we should go and eat with her, or asked her to come with us. But I refused. I'm not searching for an excuse, you know, but I don't really appreciate her. Well, she doesn't like me, it seems. And sorry, but she's not pretty clever. Oh, I'm re acting like that. I'm sorry. But I can say that I don't lot to share with her. Anyway, he stood up then came to sit at her table. I think he knew that I would follow him; or note, I don't care. I'm not really jealous, at least I think. Anyway, in fact, I followed him. So D. et Mi ### also followed us. We ate our couscous, talking about the exams and the last baccalauréat. She asked us if we were stressed. Of course we are ! Then he was explaining me a math lesson, we did in the morning. 

        When I finished my vegetables and chicken -I don't eat cereals at school-, and ate the half of my fruits salad -with strawberry, banana, apple, orange and orange juice, i think- D. and me stood up and returned to the library. Geez, it's not really impolite. At least, I didn't mean it. And I wonder if he would do the same with Moscovitz who is often eating alone.

        At the library, we sat with Tim's and T ### h ### . Then S. rejoined us. For a while, at least. Li. asked him to help her with her inscription in the computer -Campus France. Tim's and D. were kidding me about our relationship, and about prom. Then he returned for a while, and stood up, leaving the library - CDI- for God knows where.

        I have to apologize for my comportment of yesterday, I guess. But, its not really my fault, y'see. And I didn't say anything. I just wanted to spend some time with him, I guess. Especially 'cause he was not at school in the morning. Well. But it doesn't explain my silly stupid comportmentt toward Moscovitz. Humm, I didn't do anything neither. Anyway, let's forget it. Or not.

        I wasn't to kind for another person I saw yesterday. A madman who was turning in the parking. I was tired, and annoyed and I was rude to him. Well, not exactly, in front of him. I'm not this way nut. I'm just... nasty. Err... no, I'm not nasty. I was just tired and stressed.

        Stressed because I have an important oral exam in... some hours. Bet I should let you, so.

All my kisses,

Your Jenna

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