AGAIN

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I've been searching for words to describe what I'm going through right now, but sadly I didn't find anything, so I thought maybe talking

about it, in general, can help isn't? I've been afraid to ask him for about more than a year now, about how he feels about me when I finally have

courage to do it, It comes out that he does not consider me as his friend, so what should I do now?

I'm happy with another, and literally, he does everything to make me happy, but I've always had this emotion that I should be with someone who

can care about me and be good for our children, I don't want to do it again, starting the same mistake my parents did.

I know loving someone isn't as easy as I thought.

I keep thinking about how to make my life looks perfect, and what's going out is that it's just falling apart with every step I make. I'm afraid that

I could really be like those people that can't be with just one man, I hate judging people but it really seems that it's my case, I really want to tell

him the truth. That I'm not what he thinks, Maybe he already knows because it's really hard to not feel it.

He finally answers, saying that something there between us, something that I always feel it but can't admit it.

after 4 years I figured out that he loved me, and I didn't. To be honest, I don't know who I love and who I don't love, I might even don't love

anyone but the problem still up, because I became older and at some point maybe I will regret what I'm doing now, maybe I will regret

the decision I made now, There's no time to regret, so I should think about everything before I make a step.

I've already made big mistakes that literally I can't fix, no one can...

sometimes I think maybe I have a choice and there's a lot of days when I do feel like I don't have anything to do, All that It's big than me I

should just say yes...

A lot of ideas and b**lshit that keep running through my head and I can't be letting go.

WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH THIS MESS I AM IN??

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